Unwelcome Thoughts

The following is not of my doing, but I'm posting it for reasons which I find selfish yet pierce my heart in ways even I do not understand.


Don't be selfish. If you do not love the way her hair curls at the ends or her nose wrinkles when she laughs, then let her go. If you don't see her as a fucking masterpiece, then let her go, because someone else will.
Don't be selfish. If you don't love the way she sneezes, or the way she dribbles the toothpaste down her chin when she brushes her teeth then let her go. If you're heart doesn't almost beat out of your chest when you wake up and the first thing you see is her soundly sleeping on your shoulder, let her go. Someone else would kill for that.
Being with someone when you know you don't love her is cruel. It's not only cruel, it's holding her back from someone who can give her everything. Someone who feels waves breaking in his ribcage when he see her walk around the corner. Someone who has had the worst of days, but rainbows suddenly appear at the thought of her. Someone who hears the sound of her voice and it soothes the darkest of nightmares. If that is not you, let her go.
She is a wonder, she is magic, she deserves someone who believes that every single day, and not just on certain days.
 
Don't be selfish. If you do not love the contours of his hands, or the way his brows arch when he is thinking hard, then let him go. If you don't see him as the most amazing thing to have happened to you, then let him go, because someone else will.
Don't be selfish. If you don't love the way his nose turns red when he has a cold, or the way his fingers curl around your arm, then let him go. If your heart doesn't almost always beat out of your chest when you wake up and the first thing you see is him soundly sleeping, disarmed and innocent. Someone else would be pining for that.
Being with someone when you know you don't love him is cruel. It's not only cruel, it's holding him back from someone who could give him everything. Someone who has a thousand oceans rising within her when she looks into his eyes. Someone who has had the worst of days, but fireworks go abuzz at the sight of him. Someone who desires the feeling of his arms around her as it soothes the darkest of nightmares. If that is not you, then let him go.
He is not just the idea of love, he is love himself. He deserves someone who believes that every single day.


In a way, I get it. If you cant love the person, in and out, in ways of simplicity or grandeur, every single day, no matter how hell bad that day is, its better to let go.
And then I thought to myself, I don't always like him , and I know we don't always see everything eye-to-eye. There are even days that I hate him. I also sense that there are days he hates me too. I know that there are days when I don't want to listen, and nights when I'm so angry, I won't even dare to hold him.
There are moments that I feel I deserve more than what he can give me. And that I have given more than enough. There are days that I want to be held, cherished, pampered, loved more than what I expect, more than what I want, more than what I need. And then there are days when I want to be free, without obligations, without expectations, without giving.

We all have this notion, a pre-conceived idea of how love should be. Should being the operative word. An ideal where love is flowers and chocolates and romantic dinners. Where there are no flaws too big, no differences too wide, no heartaches too deep. The truth is, love is not defined by the limits of the mind. It cannot be framed with the boundaries of the superficial.

And so to let go, like everything else, is a choice. To choose to let him go because I hated the way he picked his nose, or the way he sleeps 18hrs a day, or his goddamn guts, is choosing to let go of the warm hugs when I'm scared shitless because of the storm; and the coloring materials he bought me because I was depressed; and the chocolates and hamburgers I requested even if its bad for my health; and the smiles and the laughter and the tears brought about by being together for 13 years; and the friendship that kept us from kiling each other; and the silent kisses and whispers of 'i love you' in the dead of night, when the mind stopped thinking and the heart starts speaking.

Tell me, how do you let go?