Strangers

It was more of a chance than coincidence.
Both of us being in the same place and time, two days in a row.
I wasn’t expecting you to stop again.
Considering the doubtful question yesterday.
The only sentence that was spoken between the two of us for the last 5 years.
Yet you did.

I wouldn’t be able to explain what I saw in your eyes that morning.

Hate. Anger. Regret. And very faintly that I could almost say I imagined it, love.
So when you turned around and traversed the road that was familiar yet haunting to me, I held my breath.

Silence hung between us.

I could count the number of your breaths.
The beating of my heart.
I wanted to look at you but I am so afraid the moment might lose its grip.
That you might snap back to reality.
I was both hoping and dreading that you would.

Silently, you drove us to that place beneath the trees.

The one place in this world I could not bear to be.
Without question, you took my hand and led me within the shadows.
And for the length of an eternity, you held me.
Held me as if yesterday was a memory that was never there.
Held me as if tomorrow is a future that is not possible to happen.

I just closed my eyes and let you.

Then I let the tears flow. Uncontrollably. The ones I held for years.

I assume I fell asleep. Because when I opened my eyes, the sun is high in the sky, and the leaves shone brightly as they dance.

I looked at you when I felt you stir beside me.
For a fraction of a second I travelled back in time. When I could look into your eyes and feel that the world righted itself overnight.

Your lips touched mine briefly, light as a feather.

You held me again. But this, with urgency. As if time is running out. In metaphor, I believe it is.

Without explanation, we drove back.
To the place where nobody knew.
To the place where our past was nothing but a murmur among the entire buzz.

Back to how we were.

Strangers.

A Break in a Joyride

I look at you.

I didn’t notice that all the while I was holding my breath. I am completely taken that I find it hard to concentrate on the road.

Not that I need to, you drive well.

I sense familiarity in your movements, as if you’ve been doing this all your life.
I guess you have, judging by the way your hand shape itself in the wheel.
Almost like a caress.

I held you with my eyes. It is almost impossible to tear them away from you.

You look at me and smile.

I love that smile. Your all-knowing smile.

I like the fact that you know I’ve been watching you.

I almost called your name out. Would have voiced out how I felt.

I failed to stop my gasp when you reached over to hold my hand.

I looked ahead now.

And for the first time, I noticed the sun in my face and the wind blowing my hair
The dirt covered road.
Our song in the radio.
The beating of your heart.
Your hand still holding mine.

I’m counting every minute. Trying to hold back time.
Because today we end this joyride.
But not now. Now is for feeling the warmth of your hand. And looking at the content of your smile.

Now I see “us”. Together.

Tomorrow we go back to finding reasons to wake up in the morning.

I’m not ready. Never was.
Coz in the end of this roadtrip, there’s no changing the truth.
I lost you along the way.

I reached over. As I always do.

But I find the seat cold, smooth and empty.

For in this journey, you are not mine. Not anymore.

This is inspired by a new friend i found. she may have lost someone in her journey, but i believe she will find the one for her along the way.