Plurk Post >> Define True Love?!?

ok.

i will not pretend to be a love guru or something. nor act as if i have the perfect true love in my life. as a disclaimer, i am having everyone to be aware that anything you read here is entirely MY opinion on the matter and any violent reactions and/or bitter responses will obviously be overlooked to the sense of almost ignored. so you might as well realize that you cannot do anything about it.

lets get back to business. true love. define.

i believe this discussion started with the song 'Captured' which in my point of view is a rather good song. not on top of my playlist since i only heard it yesterday, but the story was quite ok.

it was, as they say, a little shifted to the 'ideal' love story. being 'captured' to that one person and loving him to last a happy ever after. and that it can only happen in the movies.

since i am bound to my own opinion, i both agree and disagree.

i do know that every girl in the entire world have, in one way or another, whipped up their ideal man, relationship and love affair. and i do know that it is not healthy to be living in the midst of unneccesary likeness to the ideals.

but love in its truest sense is ideal.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

with this in mind, i can say that love endures time. endures all hardships. all trials. all boulders of life. and love resides in happiness, contentment and peace.

and anybody who says otherwise is either not in the right state of mind or just havent found that one true love.

its just that love is not always about romance, and candlelight dinners. it cannot be measured by how men understand the complexity of women, nor the ability to be always at the right place at the right time.

love is being able to sit down together, not talk and yet be comfortable.
love is being able to see his faults as often as you see yours. then make up for it.
love is being able to say sorry and forgive as well.
love is being able to be yourself and be one with him all at the same time.
love is being able to listen with your heart.
love is being able to trust blindly.

i do not say that being in love with someone is always being up in cloud nine. and i do not promise that it will not hurt. and i myself do not claim that i have the best in life.

i remember i was once confused with this love definition because of these quotes:

If you love someone, you have to love him without expecting anything in return.
and
Love is give and take.
The first quote is one way. the second, a two-way love. so which is true?

Instead of being entirely mystified, i made my own quote:
love is give and receive.

so in one way, you love without expecting anything back and if the one you love, loves you as well, he will do the same thing. so you receive.

and maybe the reason why people stopped believing in true love is because they keep on waiting to receive the same amount of love they give. that instead of continually giving in that love, they keep on expecting on the amount of love they can take back. and so they get hurt.

i always believed in that one true love. or if im being mushy today, soulmates. there is somebody out there meant specifically for each one of us. there are old maids or bachelors because they didnt meet their other halves in this life. maybe in another lifetime, in another form, in another life. but they will. WILL. (taken in random-things-i-believe-in)

so stop moping around you lot and start looking for your true love. he's just there. somewhere.

i am here... again...

here i am again.
standing on the edge of the cliff.
waiting.

i am so close... again.

the last time, i turned my back and walked away.
if this do not go where i hope it would.
i might jump off the damned cliff.

i am not supposed to tell anything 'yet' about this.
but the suspense, or is it close to anxiety, is getting on my nerves.

the deliberation for promotion is scheduled today.
i have been in the board since October but i was disqualified because of poor attendance.
i did not contest that decision. i really am almost, always late.
my fault. i know.
the "i live in Navotas" excuse sound flimsy even in my ears.

but i changed. or to put it in much convincing words, i tried.
i know there is visible improvement in me.
even my supervisor and manager told me so.
i just dont think it's enough.

there is no problem with my performance.
i know.
ive got a VERY GOOD PERFORMANCE rating in the last Performance Appraisal.
that is equivalent to a 4 from a 1-5 rating range with 5 as the highest.
my new manager told me so too.
i just have the VERY bad feeling that it isnt enough.

i know i did want to leave the company. remember? MDSP?
but since they did not approve of me because "i am an important member of the group"
i rearranged all my plans to be as exceptional in my job as they wanted me to be.
i am not saying that they SHOULD give me the promotion because they held me tight right here.
but because i believe that i deserve it.
i know i did work hard for this.
i never failed to meet my commitments just because im late.

sigh.

all this blabbering will not take me up there.
and in the back of my mind i kept asking SOMEONE up there to listen.
i wanted an entirely different thing a month ago.
but it was not given to me.
and i know everything happens for a reason.
i hope this is HIS'.

I found you

Good Morning!
sigh. ok. its really not a very good morning.
the red flag is up, im on my second day and i'm having a very nasty dysmenorrhea attack.

but this is not about why i feel im always on the edge of my seat and of my patience.

this is about my dream.

i remember well that before i slept last night i was thinking about my children's graduation and of course the money involved, necessary purchases needed for the next two weeks, and another set of enrollment for May. and maybe between my calculations and the dilemma of where to get the money, i fell asleep.

the first part i can relate to work, i recall looking for colored chalks because i need to write some instructions on the board. i think i wrote my name with my i.d. number.

it was then about my family when the scene changed, i was again looking for the colored chalks but they were not present anymore in the dream-specified location. i told my tita that maybe Jam, my son, took it. i called him and yes, the colored chalks were with him. he was giving it to me when instantly we were in the midst of a hurricane. the chalks were scattered everywhere because of the strong winds and i remember holding him tightly.

this is now the most important part of the dream..

when the wind cleared out, i was not part of the dream anymore, not one of the characters, just a viewer..

there was a child. in the middle of the ocean. he was holding tight to what-looks-like a raft and he was being attacked by a kraken (giant squid?). i could see the tentacles trying to break his hold.
he was crying out "no. dont. no."

then a voice said, "let go." and he did.

when he turned around, there was no kraken. but there was a man. a man i would recognize anywhere, anytime.

it was jesus christ. i know. i could see his face clearly. every feature is there.
he was in the water with the child. and everything was calm.

the child was so happy and he said. "salamat, salamat, mabuti na lang nakita kita." (thank you, thank you, good thing i found you."

and jesus christ told him smiling, "but you did not, i found you."

so i think the lord is telling me something.
i think after the numerous times i tried shouting in my head for Him to see me.
for Him to look at me. to help me.

and he told me to 'let go'
He did not say what i need to let go, but i think i know.

...cast your burdens upon me, those who are heavily laden...

and maybe i will. because finally, He found me.

Finding HIM

My faith isnt way up there, that I admit. But I do believe in HIM. In my heart I believe of a greater power. I dont go to church every sunday, I dont read the bible and I have a few questions for Him if, and that is IF, I get to heaven.. But I have my faith. And I know that whenever, wherever and however I am in need, no matter how difficult, no matter how impossible it may seem, He will find a way for me, through me.