But I never thought it would hurt too much.
I busied myself as everybody’s make-up artist, hairdresser,
convenience store and personal assistant. I believed tiring myself to the extreme will numb me of
emotions.
But.When she took that first step in that red carpet, in that white flowing dress, the tears blinded me.
I was wrong. I wasn’t ready. Never was.
It is impossible even to pretend that everything was and will be okay.
I was torn between being happy for him, for them, and being sorry for myself.
I don’t need to look in the mirror to know that my eyes lack the luster of happiness.
The smile on my face was an outward lie.
It was in the vows that I lost all hopes. I give up.
I will never have this moment.No matter how much I dream.
